A Small Excursion Into the Associated Press Leads me to Tirade About…

Chattanooga, Tennessee police say a couple they believe tried to steal several TV’s and computer at Wal-Mart caused chaos. An off-duty police officer said that he saw a man trying to force his way thorugh greeters with about $2,000 worth of stolen goods on Sunday. He showed the suspect his badge, but he denied the accusation and tried to force his way past the cop. The officer tackled the suspect and arrested him.
Then, the suspect’s wife feigned a heart attack and claimed she did not know her husband.

After a witness told the cop the two had been seen in the store together, the wife attacked the witness in the parking lot. The witness stabbed the wife in the arm with a pocvket knife, which the wife had to go to the hospital to be treated for.

The male suspect is charged with theft in excess of $1,000 and assault on a police officer. Charges against his wife are pending.

And we wonder why I hate Wal-Mart.

South Dakota Woman Registerd Blood Alcohol Level of .708

South Dakota police found a woman passed out in the driver’s side of a stolen vehicle registered a blood alcohol level of .708, nealry nine times the legal limit and a possible record for the state.

45-year-old Marguerite Engle was found slumped over the steering wheel of the stolen van on December 1st.

All state chemists claim that the highest blood alcohol level they can remember is .56.

Authorities say that Engle missed at December 15th court hearing and they found her on Monday in another stolen vehicle, drunk.

She is being held on two counts of DUI.

Her attorney declined to comment.

Holy crap, isn’t .708 fatal? Part of me thinks that former Def Leppard guitarist Steve Clark’s blood alcohol level was lower than that the day he was placed in rehab, which was double what killed Led Zepplin drummer John Bonham.

Holy shit, dude!


About Robert L. Franklin

Ah, the About Me section - social networking's excuse for you sounding like an elitist prick. Hmm... what to say? What to say?
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