An Open Letter to Ann Coulter

Dear Ms. Colter,

My name is Robert Franklin and I am a student living in Texas, which as you know, is one of the most conservative pieces of land in all of America. The reason why I am writing this letter to you is because I am requesting — nay, begging — you to do America a favor and sew your lips shut. I don’t understand why you say or do the things I have seen you paraded through the media for, but now that the enjoyment of your idiosyncratic behavior has worn off and the giggles I used to have at your expense have waned, I really would appreciate it if you would take your unsubstantiated, paranoid, Glenn Beck-esque hatemongering back to whatever repugnant address — or plane of existence — you call home. And leave it there.

I watched your appearance on Sean Hannity’s show the other day, and taking into consideration all of the ridiculous vomit that has spewed from your plague-infested mouth over the years, I have to say the comments you made about Muslims definitely makes the Top 10 on my ever-growing list of “Reasons Why Ann Coulter is Chancroid on the Dick of America”. I mean, come on.

“I don’t care if she knew about this, she ought to be in prison for wearing a hijab.”

Wow. I’m not going to lie, Ms. Coulter, I’m surprised you pulled your nose out of Roger Ailes’ ass long enough to know what the hell a hijab is.

“This immigration policy of us assimilating immigrants into our culture isn’t really working. They’re assimilating us into their culture. Did she get a clitorectomy too?”

And now, we get to your ignorance and inability to see beyond said ignorance. First off, clitorectomies are practiced in many African countries, more specifically those with high native populations. Secondly, Tamerlan Tsnarneaev’s heritage comes from Chechnya and prior to U.S. immigration, she spent time in Kyrgyzstan and Southern Russia — all places where clitorectomies are not medicinally practiced.

Here’s the deal, Ann. Even when you appear on a network who’s claims of being “fair and biased — sorry — balanced” can only seem to swing the opinion of a portion of the half of Americans with an I.Q. below 100 in their favor, you still come off as an arrogant, cynical, manipulative, misinformed bitch. You obviously have no concept of culture, acceptance, love, and caring for people beyond yourself — which makes sense, since several engagements never resulted in nuptials for you — and beneath that starving exterior — that feminine (-ish) version of Christian Bale from The Machinist — beats your heart, a withered cancer oozing the slime of narcissism and pumping the bigoted poison that runs through your veins.

You are the embodiment of what is wrong with my country.


About Robert L. Franklin

Ah, the About Me section - social networking's excuse for you sounding like an elitist prick. Hmm... what to say? What to say?
This entry was posted in America: The Blog and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to An Open Letter to Ann Coulter

  1. Peter Castle says:

    Coulter is an attention seeker. See the book Vanity: Ann Coulter’s Quest for Glory at

  2. aFrankAngle says:

    You put a lot of energy into this letter. On the other hand, she’s not worth it.

  3. Cat Wolff says:

    Personality inventory. Hummmmm. 8)

  4. Mathis Brown says:

    Its like you read my mind! You seem to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with a few pics to drive the message home a bit, but instead of that, this is wonderful blog. A great read. I will definitely be back..Check

  5. Pingback: Free-Flowing Thoughts: The Zephyr Lounge on Immigration Reform and Crazy, Pissed-Off White-Trash Conservatives | The Zephyr Lounge

  6. Pingback: An Open Letter to Megyn Kelly | The Zephyr Lounge

  7. Pingback: Commentary on Abstract Morality (A Response to Phil Robertson’s Recent Atheism Commentary) | The Zephyr Lounge

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