Welcome to the Republic of Texas! Leave Your False Gods at the Border! (revisited)

A couple of months ago, we met a man who guided us through the inner workings of the Republic of Texas. Today, we chat with his again, in light of a new crop of gun legislation that recently passed.

<cue Texas accent>

*clears throat*

“Ladies and gentlemen of Texas! We just done struck a victory against that oppressive United States government!

As ya’ll are now aware of, we done passed twelve new laws that further soften our already soft gun laws. As of now, e’erybody in the great Republic of Texas can take a gun wherever they want. This is a great day for us! We must rejoice and praise our Almighty God for guiding our lawmakers in their victory –“

Alright, I’m done with this shit. What Redneck Randy up there was saying is that a couple of days ago, the Texas House passed twelve new firearms laws that really make Texas the place to go for people who demand the right to keep any and all firearms they choose. The legislation allows college students to own and possess firearms on campus and in classrooms, puts potentially armed Marshals in public schools, and exempts Texas from any Federal legislation including assault-weapons bans, high-capacity magazine bans, and universal background checks.

Has just doomed us all.

Has just doomed us all.

As you and those who follow me on Facebook know, despite my libertarian stance, I’ve been behind the Government’s attempts to control weapons. I honestly believe that no one needs a weapon like that, and as those who have debated me have heard, I have yet to hear any legitimate reason to the contrary. I honestly believe that pro-gun nuts are people who are paranoid about the country becoming a police state.

Anyway, I digress.

This legislation bothers me, especially with how quickly it passed. A simple voice vote ran it through the house like Miralax, and what is praticularly bothersome about this is the provision that supersedes Federal laws, which as we all know, is impossible. So why would legislation like that pass? Unless…

“My friends, the Republic of Texas is getting close to leaving these dem dayr United States. We shall be free from the tyranny that NoBama has attempted to bring own are people! We shall be –“

Oh, I get it. Perhaps this is Texas’ way of telling the Federal government to fuck off? Maybe. I can honestly say I wouldn’t be surprised. In some ways, the Civil War kind of proved that secession is legal, and there is no literature in the U.S. Constitution on the matter at all. A lot of those who claim secession is illegal have misinterpreted the ruling of Texas v. White, but no worries, many politicians do as well.

I’m not stating that there is an elaborate scheme in motion to remove Texas from the Union, but like I said, I wouldn’t be surprised if there was. These new gun laws are an obvious slap to the face of the Federal government though. Texas is kind of a dick like that. Alas, back to the topic at hand.

Note: I need to stop getting off-topic with this, disposition of Texas notwithstanding.

So, now I live in a State where college kids can bring guns into classrooms and keep them in their cars and dorms, despite the fact that many of the mass shootings since Columbine have happened on college campuses (i.e. Virginia Tech) or by college-aged people. Now, I live in a state where Texas Marshals will stand in public schools and watch elementary, middle, and high school children. Now, I live in a state where — allegedly — the Federal government cannot enforce any kind of Federal gun laws, punishable by up to five years imprisonment and a $50,000 fine.

Shit, why don’t we just give them the needle while we’re at it?

No. That was not an idea!

About Robert L. Franklin

Ah, the About Me section - social networking's excuse for you sounding like an elitist prick. Hmm... what to say? What to say?
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3 Responses to Welcome to the Republic of Texas! Leave Your False Gods at the Border! (revisited)

  1. Pingback: Free-Flowing Thoughts: The Zephyr Lounge on Immigration Reform and Crazy, Pissed-Off White-Trash Conservatives | The Zephyr Lounge

    • gene owen says:

      The federal government is starting police states JFK gave the feds the right to take anything they want anytime they want I was born in Texas so who the fuck do u think u r trying to shove ur beliefs down everyone’s throat I will probably move back to Texas soon just for the fact that have the balls to stand up for an individuals rights so fuck u

      • Mr. Owen, if you feel the need to leave a hostile “fuck you” comment on my blog, could you at least use correct spelling, punctuation, and hell, even have something interesting to say, instead of spouting unsubstantiated conspiracy theories? That would be greatly appreciated.

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