Well, ladies and gentlemen, we are but mere hours away from what appears to be the first government shutdown in seventeen years. Am I surprised? No. I’ve honestly thought this was an inevitability. Why? Because Ted Cruz’s reading of Green Eggs and Ham completely swayed me.
I do not like it one little bit
I do not like it while taking a shit
I do not like it here or there
I do not like it anywhere
I do not like it
I do not care
I do not like Obamacare
After drinking a glass of juice and rummaging through the company icebox here at The Zephyr Lounge, I took it upon myself to determine what the other staffers think about the government shutdown. The answers I received were mixed, so to speak.
“This is not good, man. I don’t like this one little bit.”
— Buscuit“Fuck the government! They don’t do anything for us anyway!”
— Vinny“This would never happen if the church was allowed to rule the country.”
— Father Philip“I want breakfast burritos.”
— Thomas LaSordo“If the government shuts down, does that mean I’ll be let go?”
— Doug the Intern“Happy birthday, Mr. President…”
— Ghost of Marilyn Monroe
Those were just a few of the responses going around the office in the wake of the possible shutdown. I know, it seems like most of the staff isn’t too aware about the goings on in Washington. I have ordered a workshop for them to attend.
Anyway, so it begs the question. Who is responsible for the government shutdown? Well, if I’m not giving my generalized America too much credit, we will all (mostly) agree that the shutdown is the fault of the GOP. Which, it will be. I’m fairly sure a fake filibuster and the comments made my Representative Peter King (R-New York) pretty much provide all the proof we need to blame the actions of Canada’s Little Hero and other like-minded Congressional individuals for all of the government’s “non-essential” jobs being shut down.
But why is the Republican Party so quick to shut down the government?
Why else?
Yes, sir. The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, the “Communist” and “anti-American” piece of legislation President Obama has willed his entire Presidency toward. Interestingly enough, we here at The Zephyr Lounge have spent the last several months trying to figure out why something that is so beneficial to the sheer amount of American citizens without health insurance is creating such a huge backlash from “Republican values.” Shit, it’s not like the legislation violates the American constitution.
But of course, as luck would have it, the “Right” side of the aisle has decided that shutting down the government is the best way to get what they want. I guess 40+ failures in dismantling the PPACA can make certain people that desperate. Hell, it’s not like Republicans have ever forced healthcare provisions on the American people before.
Ohhhh! Righttt!
Hmph. How about that? Rick Perry’s Gardasil fiasco. I wonder what else I can dig up.
Let’s play a game.
Did You Know That From 1990-2008?
1. The healthcare industry has contributed $825 million to candidates for Federal office, of which 57% of those contributions have gone to Republican candidates.
2. The healthcare industry spent $3.4 billion to lobby the Federal government on health policy matters, including $480 million in 2008 alone.
3. Annual contributions from the healthcare industry increased seven-fold from $21.9 million in 1990 to nearly $150 million in 2008, placing it in the top-three contributing industries to Congress and the President.
Source: Center for Responsive Politics; analysis of campaign finance disclosures filed with the Federal Election Commission, 1990-2008.
No wonder the GOP hates the PPACA so much. It inhibits the power of major insurance companies and pharmaceuticals. Of course those companies who stand to lose millions are pissed off, but instead of going to the media themselves, they’ll have their “bitches” do it for them. Hell, at least the NRA has the balls to go on television and lie to us while looking us in the eye.
Just remember folks, we’re less than 12 hours away from possible government shutdown. Let the countdown begin!
The Zephyr Lounge 